Teddy bears and unicorns have been at war for as long as anyone can remember. Private Bluet craves unicorn blood because it confers eternal beauty, according to the prophecy in the new religion’s sacred book. His brother, Tubby, is not cut out for war. He lacks confidence and is an emotional eater. All he wants is for his brother to love him. A teddy bear regiment leaves the training camp for a mission that will end in a brutal and disastrous final battle.